Podcast

Want, Will, Should or Must: Is the Sex You Are Having Really Consensual? Episode 46

Numerous sources in our tradition demonstrate that sex in marriage must be mutual and consensual, and at no time can sex be forced or coerced. However, If a woman has been taught that she must do what her husband wants and she is responsible for protecting him from sin, she will fear the consequences of saying no. In this episode, Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn discuss how non-consensual sexual dynamics can be built in to the system even as normative Jewish law forbids coercive sex. We invite you to listen to this thought provoking and important discussion about the importance of integrating sexual autonomy and ethical sexual behavior in Jewish marriage.

Navigating Relational and Sexual Intimacy During Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Postpartum Period Episode 45

Pregnancy and childbirth are profound events in the life of a couple. The physical, psychological and hormonal changes that occur to women during pregnancy and in the postpartum period can impact both partners and affect emotional and sexual intimacy. Couples must learn to adjust to a changed family system and a new identity as parents. Observant Jewish couples are additionally affected by laws that restrict touch during childbirth and in the postpartum period. In this episode, Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum discuss how pregnancy and childbirth as well as restrictions on physical touch, can affect relational intimacy and sexuality.

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Infertility and Relationships Episode 44

Infertility and pregnancy loss affects relationships: with self, God, partner, family, friends and community. In part 2 of this two part series, Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum discuss the general implications of infertility and pregnancy loss on these relationships and on marital intimacy and sexuality. Listen to Talli and Rabbi Scott discuss this as well as the specific considerations for observant Jewish couples.

Infertility and Pregnancy Loss (Part One): A Conversation with Dr. Aimee Baron Episode 43

The liturgy we recite on Rosh Hashana includes references to fertility and childbirth. God remembers Sarah, Rachel and Chana by answerIng their prayers for a child. The poem “Hayom harat olam,” the ‘birth day’ of the world, evokes images of pregnancy. For individuals and couples struggling with infertility or pregnancy loss, this can be triggering, painful and isolating. In the first of two episodes on infertility and pregnancy loss, Talli and Scott speak with Dr. Aimee Baron, founder of I Was Supposed To Have A Baby, a nonprofit organization that utilizes social media to support Jewish individuals and families going through infertility, pregnancy loss, infant loss, surrogacy, and adoption. Our second episode, to be released later this month, will focus on the emotional and social struggles of individuals and couples dealing with infertility, issues in Jewish law relevant to infertility, and the effect of treatment on intimacy and sexuality.

‘The Surrendered Wife’ and Marital Intimacy: Hierarchal Power Dynamics Versus Equal and Mutual Partnership Episode 42

Last month, Orthodox Jewish journalist Avital Chizhik-Goldschmidt published an article in The Atlantic highlighting the popularity of Laura Doyle’s 2001 New York Times bestseller, ‘The Surrendered Wife,’ among Orthodox Jewish women. Doyle’s book provides a practical guide to marital bliss and harmony, suggesting that women stop being critical and demanding of their husbands, respect and trust them, and regularly engage in self-care and “be vulnerable.”

Many would consider this to be sound advice, and Doyle’s devotees on social media have reported that their marriages underwent a complete transformation after reading the book and applying its principles. In some Orthodox circles, the book’s principles are considered to be in line with Jewish values. Yet, the book, which advises women to relinquish control of all finances to their husbands, refrain from negative comments, and “pretend to believe in him even when you don’t” has triggered very negative reactions, and concern that these potentially disempowering messages can leave women vulnerable to abuse. Join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum in a discussion of this book in the context of healthy marital dynamics.

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Mindfulness, Pleasure and Orgasm: The Jewish Pleasure Principle Episode 41

Judaism values sexuality in the framework of marriage, both for the purposes of procreation and for relational intimacy. But does Judaism sanction the enhancement of physical pleasure, or should it be minimized? Do the Sages relate to pleasure differently in men and women, and how aware were they regarding the female experience of desire, arousal and orgasm? Join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum as we discuss the “Jewish Pleasure Principle.”

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“Male and Female He Created Them”: Trans, Non-Binary, and Orthodox Judaism Episode 40

According to Jewish sources, God created humans as distinctly male or distinctly female. The roles, obligations and privileges of each gender are clearly defined in our tradition. Yet, not everyone conforms to the gender assigned to them at birth and some individuals experience their gender as distinctly opposite. Can Orthodox individuals who identify as non-binary or transgender find welcoming places, literally and figuratively, in Orthodox society? In this month’s episode, Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn speak with Rebitzen and social worker Daniela Weiss-Bronstein, about this important topic.

Become an Intimate Judaism Patreon subscriber to get additional episodes, merch, and more, including a Q and A dropping this week. Just go to https://www.patreon.com/intimatejudaism.

Straight FOMO, Hymenal Myths, Vasectomy Envy, Fetishes, BDSM and Mad at God: Listening to our Listeners Q&A Episode 39

In this month’s episode, we turn the mike over to you, our listeners, and answer a handful of the many questions you have sent in on email, Facebook and Instagram messenger. Listen to Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn discuss what happens to queer women who don’t want to miss out on traditional marriage and sexual reproduction, when you are angry at God, when babies destroy your sex life and much more. Join here for the full podcast episode.

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Obsessed with your hymen? Ten myths about the hymen that may calm you down

Reproductive Health and Halacha Part 2: Birth Control Methods Episode 38

Reproductive health ensures that couples can lead satisfying sex lives, and make informed decisions regarding family planning. Decisions related to birth control methods are generally guided by various factors, including health, convenience, cost, preference, and sexual or other side effects. For most observant Jewish couples, these decisions are also informed by Jewish law.
In the second episode of our two-part series on reproductive health and halacha, Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum speak with gynecologist Dr. Elissa Hellman, also known as “The Confident Kallah” about the various methods available to couples, their impact on sex, their impact on the laws of niddah, and their halachic permissibility.

https://tallirosenbaum.com/2021/12/22/your-sex-life-on-birth-control-guest-post-by-michal-schonbrun/

Reproductive Health, Birth Control, and Jewish Law Episode 37

Reproductive health is relevant to all couples in their childbearing years. Family planning, fertility interventions, and the use of contraception are guided by values and Halachic considerations, and involve several other factors including financial concerns, personal and professional goals, desired family size, and relationship stability. Join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum in the first of a two-part series on reproductive health and Halacha.

Become an Intimate Judaism Patreon subscriber to get additional episodes, merch, and more, including a Q and A dropping this week. Just go to https://www.patreon.com/intimatejudaism.

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