Podcast

Straight FOMO, Hymenal Myths, Vasectomy Envy, Fetishes, BDSM and Mad at God: Listening to our Listeners Q&A Episode 39

In this month’s episode, we turn the mike over to you, our listeners, and answer a handful of the many questions you have sent in on email, Facebook and Instagram messenger. Listen to Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn discuss what happens to queer women who don’t want to miss out on traditional marriage and sexual reproduction, when you are angry at God, when babies destroy your sex life and much more. Join here for the full podcast episode.

Become an Intimate Judaism Patreon subscriber to get additional episodes, merch, and more, including a Q and A dropping this week. Just go to https://www.patreon.com/intimatejudaism.

Obsessed with your hymen? Ten myths about the hymen that may calm you down

Reproductive Health and Halacha Part 2: Birth Control Methods Episode 38

Reproductive health ensures that couples can lead satisfying sex lives, and make informed decisions regarding family planning. Decisions related to birth control methods are generally guided by various factors, including health, convenience, cost, preference, and sexual or other side effects. For most observant Jewish couples, these decisions are also informed by Jewish law.
In the second episode of our two-part series on reproductive health and halacha, Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum speak with gynecologist Dr. Elissa Hellman, also known as “The Confident Kallah” about the various methods available to couples, their impact on sex, their impact on the laws of niddah, and their halachic permissibility.

https://tallirosenbaum.com/2021/12/22/your-sex-life-on-birth-control-guest-post-by-michal-schonbrun/

Reproductive Health, Birth Control, and Jewish Law Episode 37

Reproductive health is relevant to all couples in their childbearing years. Family planning, fertility interventions, and the use of contraception are guided by values and Halachic considerations, and involve several other factors including financial concerns, personal and professional goals, desired family size, and relationship stability. Join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum in the first of a two-part series on reproductive health and Halacha.

Become an Intimate Judaism Patreon subscriber to get additional episodes, merch, and more, including a Q and A dropping this week. Just go to https://www.patreon.com/intimatejudaism.

Out of the Closet Without Shame: Balancing Conflicting Identities of LGBTQ and Orthodoxy Episode 36

In past decades, being Orthodox and gay meant suffering in the closet, or choosing to live authentically at the expense of religion. Today, more LGBTQ individuals and couples wish to retain their religious identities while embracing their sexual orientation. Join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum in a moving interview with Rachel Weinstein, Shimmy Feintuch and Joshua Brook.

Become an Intimate Judaism Patreon subscriber to get additional episodes, merch, and more, including a Q and A dropping this week. Just go to https://www.patreon.com/intimatejudaism.

Cultural Competence: LGBTQ and Conflicting Religious Values (Webinar with Shimmy Feintuch)
https://webinars.tallirosenbaum.com/workshops/CulturalCompetence2021/login

OTHER RESOURCES:

https://www.rachelweinsteinmsw.com/

https://www.shimmyfeintuch.com/

https://chiefrabbi.org/lgbtwelfare/

https://www.lookstein.org/resource/homosexuality_amsel.pdf

https://igy.org.il/join/%D7%A7%D7%91%D7%95%D7%A6%D7%95%D7%AA-%D7%93%D7%AA%D7%99%D7%95%D7%AA/

http://www.bat-kol.org/

https://havruta.org.il/en/%D7%93%D7%A3-%D7%94%D7%91%D7%99%D7%AA-english/

https://www.stop-hamara.co.il/

https://www.shovalgroup.org/

https://www.tehila.org.il/

https://m.facebook.com/Tehila.org.il/

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1276241962842549&id=100013702725951

http://www.eshelonline.org/about-new/our-mission/

https://www.jqyouth.org/

https://m.ynet.co.il/articles/5262152

Sex Positivity, Sexual Health, and Sexual Rights: Are These Jewish Values? Episode 35

The World Health Organization defines sexual health as fundamental to the overall health and well-being of individuals, couples and families, and considers sexual pleasure to be a basic human right. In Judaism, sexual pleasure is valued, but only in the context of marital sex, leaving many people in conflict between their sexual health and spiritual health. Join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum as they discuss the six principles of sexual health, and how they conflict with or align with Jewish values.

Declaration on Sexual Pleasure by The Mexico City World Congress of Sexual Health :
https://worldsexualhealth.net/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/2019_WAS_Declaration_on_Sexual_Pleasure.pdf

To register for the webinar referenced in the podcast, go to https://webinars.tallirosenbaum.com/workshops/Apsychotherapeutic/login.

Become an Intimate Judaism Patreon subscriber to get additional episodes, merch, and more, including an upcoming Q and A. Just go to https://www.patreon.com/intimatejudaism.

Men Are Pigs and Women Are Distractions: What Messages About Sex Are Taught in Yeshiva, Seminary, and College? Episode 34

During the month of Elul, hundreds of high school graduates flock to Israel for their gap year programs, yeshivot, and seminaries. This year offers experiences of high level learning, spiritual growth, increased maturity, new friendships, and fun. But many students experience confusion, particularly around their developing sexuality. The legendary “Night of Tears” refers to the night that some yeshiva boys and seminary girls are encouraged to end their boyfriend/girlfriend relationships for the greater good of full time Torah study. On the other hand, the phenomenon of clubbing, drinking, and hooking up is real. Are our educational institutions teaching agency and self-control, or fear and self-loathing? What are the consequences of negative messaging about sex? How can we educate religious kids to navigate intimate relationships with respect for boundaries, and with consent and safety, while simultaneously emphasizing halacha and Jewish values? Finally, in light of a recent incident of rape reported at YU, how do we keep our institutions safe? Join Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn for this difficult but necessary discussion.

Become an Intimate Judaism Patreon subscriber to get additional episodes, merch, and more, including an upcoming Q and A. Just go to https://www.patreon.com/intimatejudaism. Read More

Whose Business is My Unorthodox Life, Anyway? (BONUS EPISODE)

The Netflix reality show, My Unorthodox Life, has been the talk of much of the Orthodox world since it was released less than two weeks ago. It tells the story of Julia Haart, who first developed a shoe line, and quickly rose in the world of fashion. She now is the the CEO and co-owner of Elite World Group, the world’s largest modeling network.

As most of you probably know, the reason that her story is different from others is that Julia was an Orthodox Jew named Talia Hendler living in Monsey. She had once been a passionate teacher of Torah in an Orthodox high school in Atlanta. About eight years ago, she left her husband and Orthodoxy itself, just days after her daughter’s wedding. Her astounding rise took place entirely in the past eight years.

Orthodox Jews have had varied reactions to the series, from complete rejection of Julia’s honesty and experience, to countering her story of oppression with stories of loving being Orthodox under the hashtag #Myorthodoxlife, to accepting and celebrating Julia’s journey.

In this bonus Intimate Judaism episode (co-produced with the Orthodox Conundrum), Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum are joined by Anne Gordon and Shoshanna Keast-Jaskoll for a panel discussion about My Unorthodox Life. Hear their reactions to the series – including what they feel about Julia’s relationships with her family, whether men have a right to discuss Julia’s story, the implications of her story for Orthodoxy, and more.

Become an Intimate Judaism Patreon subscriber to get additional episodes, merch, and more, including an exclusive Q and A. Just go to https://www.patreon.com/intimatejudaism.

Painful Sex and Vaginismus: It’s Not Your Fault Episode 33

Although quite common, painful intercourse is a topic that is rarely talked about. Couples who are unable to experience pain free intercourse, or are unable to consummate their marriage, may not know why this is happening or with whom to consult.

Is this problem physical or psychological?

How is it diagnosed and treated?

In this episode, Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum discuss causes and solutions.

Read a guest post here: Our Evolving Understanding of Genital Pain Disorders.

Become an Intimate Judaism Patreon subscriber to get additional episodes, merch, and more, including an upcoming Q and A. Just go to https://www.patreon.com/intimatejudaism.

 

Lubricants, Vibrators, and Sex Toys for Marital Enhancement Episode 32

Modesty, lack of information, and embarrassment are just some factors that inhibit observant couples from using products designed to enhance sexual intimacy. In this episode, Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum host Beverly Damelin, who shares her expertise in the field of sexual enhancement products and explains how they can help improve the sexual experience.

Masechet Nidah 17a

תא שמע ושל בית מונבז המלך היו עושין ג’ דברים ומזכירין אותן לשבח היו משמשין מטותיהם ביום… קתני מיהא משמשין מטותיהן ביום אימא בודקין מטותיהם ביום הכי נמי מסתברא דאי ס”ד משמשין מזכירין אותן לשבח אין ה”נ דאגב דאיכא אונס שינה מגניא באפיה.

Come and hear: The House of Munbaz the King was accustomed to doing three things, and they are remembered positively for them. First, they would have marital intercourse during the day… Say instead that this refers to “checking” their beds [rather than having intercourse] in the day. This is also a logical conclusion, for if it meant intercourse, [why would they be] remembered positively? [Meaning: even if having intercourse in the day is permitted, it is at best something neutral rather than a reason for Munbaz to be praised.] Actually, yes indeed [having intercourse in the day is a positive thing], because [nighttime intercourse may involve] the man’s overwhelming need to sleep, thereby making him disgusted with his wife [i.e., with the idea of having intercourse with her].

Rashi on Nidah 17a

אונס שינה – מתוך שהוא נאנס בשינה אינו מתאווה לה כל כך ומשמש לקיום מצות עונה בעלמא או לרצותה ולבו קץ בה…

Overwhelming need to sleep – Since he is overcome by sleep, he does not desire her very much, and has intercourse just for the mitzvah of onah or to appease her, while his heart is fed up with her…

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This episode of Intimate Judaism is sponsored by MyShemen.

Check out their website here myshemen.co.il

 

 

Consent and Coercion: What Does Forced Marriage and Obligatory Sex Look Like in the Jewish Community? Episode 31

“Forced marriage” and coercive sex are terms that most believe have no relevance to Judaism. Nevertheless, in communities where marriages are typically arranged by parents and matchmakers, does the couple truly have the freedom to reject the match? And even in modern Orthodox circles, do young men and women sometimes feel pressured to marry when they aren’t sure about the partner, aren’t ready for marriage, or are uncertain of their sexual orientation? How do young people know that they are ready for marriage, and what barriers might impede informed consent? Join Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn in a discussion about this controversial topic.

Become an Intimate Judaism Patreon subscriber to get additional episodes, merch and more. Just go to https://www.patreon.com/intimatejudaism!

Forthright and frank, yet respectful and sensitive, I Am for My Beloved: A Guide to Enhanced Intimacy for Married Couples by Talli Rosenbaum and David Ribner will help couples enrich their marital and sexual lives, and maintain passion and intimacy within the framework of Jewish tradition.

To order your copy of  I Am for My Beloved click here:

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