Podcast

Sex Positivity, Sexual Health, and Sexual Rights: Are These Jewish Values? Episode 35

The World Health Organization defines sexual health as fundamental to the overall health and well-being of individuals, couples and families, and considers sexual pleasure to be a basic human right. In Judaism, sexual pleasure is valued, but only in the context of marital sex, leaving many people in conflict between their sexual health and spiritual health. Join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum as they discuss the six principles of sexual health, and how they conflict with or align with Jewish values.

Declaration on Sexual Pleasure by The Mexico City World Congress of Sexual Health :
https://worldsexualhealth.net/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/2019_WAS_Declaration_on_Sexual_Pleasure.pdf

To register for the webinar referenced in the podcast, go to https://webinars.tallirosenbaum.com/workshops/Apsychotherapeutic/login.

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Men Are Pigs and Women Are Distractions: What Messages About Sex Are Taught in Yeshiva, Seminary, and College? Episode 34

During the month of Elul, hundreds of high school graduates flock to Israel for their gap year programs, yeshivot, and seminaries. This year offers experiences of high level learning, spiritual growth, increased maturity, new friendships, and fun. But many students experience confusion, particularly around their developing sexuality. The legendary “Night of Tears” refers to the night that some yeshiva boys and seminary girls are encouraged to end their boyfriend/girlfriend relationships for the greater good of full time Torah study. On the other hand, the phenomenon of clubbing, drinking, and hooking up is real. Are our educational institutions teaching agency and self-control, or fear and self-loathing? What are the consequences of negative messaging about sex? How can we educate religious kids to navigate intimate relationships with respect for boundaries, and with consent and safety, while simultaneously emphasizing halacha and Jewish values? Finally, in light of a recent incident of rape reported at YU, how do we keep our institutions safe? Join Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn for this difficult but necessary discussion.

Become an Intimate Judaism Patreon subscriber to get additional episodes, merch, and more, including an upcoming Q and A. Just go to https://www.patreon.com/intimatejudaism. Read More

Whose Business is My Unorthodox Life, Anyway? (BONUS EPISODE)

The Netflix reality show, My Unorthodox Life, has been the talk of much of the Orthodox world since it was released less than two weeks ago. It tells the story of Julia Haart, who first developed a shoe line, and quickly rose in the world of fashion. She now is the the CEO and co-owner of Elite World Group, the world’s largest modeling network.

As most of you probably know, the reason that her story is different from others is that Julia was an Orthodox Jew named Talia Hendler living in Monsey. She had once been a passionate teacher of Torah in an Orthodox high school in Atlanta. About eight years ago, she left her husband and Orthodoxy itself, just days after her daughter’s wedding. Her astounding rise took place entirely in the past eight years.

Orthodox Jews have had varied reactions to the series, from complete rejection of Julia’s honesty and experience, to countering her story of oppression with stories of loving being Orthodox under the hashtag #Myorthodoxlife, to accepting and celebrating Julia’s journey.

In this bonus Intimate Judaism episode (co-produced with the Orthodox Conundrum), Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum are joined by Anne Gordon and Shoshanna Keast-Jaskoll for a panel discussion about My Unorthodox Life. Hear their reactions to the series – including what they feel about Julia’s relationships with her family, whether men have a right to discuss Julia’s story, the implications of her story for Orthodoxy, and more.

Become an Intimate Judaism Patreon subscriber to get additional episodes, merch, and more, including an exclusive Q and A. Just go to https://www.patreon.com/intimatejudaism.

Painful Sex and Vaginismus: It’s Not Your Fault Episode 33

Although quite common, painful intercourse is a topic that is rarely talked about. Couples who are unable to experience pain free intercourse, or are unable to consummate their marriage, may not know why this is happening or with whom to consult.

Is this problem physical or psychological?

How is it diagnosed and treated?

In this episode, Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum discuss causes and solutions.

Read a guest post here: Our Evolving Understanding of Genital Pain Disorders.

Become an Intimate Judaism Patreon subscriber to get additional episodes, merch, and more, including an upcoming Q and A. Just go to https://www.patreon.com/intimatejudaism.

 

Lubricants, Vibrators, and Sex Toys for Marital Enhancement Episode 32

Modesty, lack of information, and embarrassment are just some factors that inhibit observant couples from using products designed to enhance sexual intimacy. In this episode, Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum host Beverly Damelin, who shares her expertise in the field of sexual enhancement products and explains how they can help improve the sexual experience.

Masechet Nidah 17a

תא שמע ושל בית מונבז המלך היו עושין ג’ דברים ומזכירין אותן לשבח היו משמשין מטותיהם ביום… קתני מיהא משמשין מטותיהן ביום אימא בודקין מטותיהם ביום הכי נמי מסתברא דאי ס”ד משמשין מזכירין אותן לשבח אין ה”נ דאגב דאיכא אונס שינה מגניא באפיה.

Come and hear: The House of Munbaz the King was accustomed to doing three things, and they are remembered positively for them. First, they would have marital intercourse during the day… Say instead that this refers to “checking” their beds [rather than having intercourse] in the day. This is also a logical conclusion, for if it meant intercourse, [why would they be] remembered positively? [Meaning: even if having intercourse in the day is permitted, it is at best something neutral rather than a reason for Munbaz to be praised.] Actually, yes indeed [having intercourse in the day is a positive thing], because [nighttime intercourse may involve] the man’s overwhelming need to sleep, thereby making him disgusted with his wife [i.e., with the idea of having intercourse with her].

Rashi on Nidah 17a

אונס שינה – מתוך שהוא נאנס בשינה אינו מתאווה לה כל כך ומשמש לקיום מצות עונה בעלמא או לרצותה ולבו קץ בה…

Overwhelming need to sleep – Since he is overcome by sleep, he does not desire her very much, and has intercourse just for the mitzvah of onah or to appease her, while his heart is fed up with her…

Support Intimate Judaism by joining Patreon! While helping to grow the podcast you’ll also gain access to additional episodes, merch, and more. Check it out at https://www.patreon.com/intimatejudaism.

This episode of Intimate Judaism is sponsored by MyShemen.

Check out their website here myshemen.co.il

 

 

Consent and Coercion: What Does Forced Marriage and Obligatory Sex Look Like in the Jewish Community? Episode 31

“Forced marriage” and coercive sex are terms that most believe have no relevance to Judaism. Nevertheless, in communities where marriages are typically arranged by parents and matchmakers, does the couple truly have the freedom to reject the match? And even in modern Orthodox circles, do young men and women sometimes feel pressured to marry when they aren’t sure about the partner, aren’t ready for marriage, or are uncertain of their sexual orientation? How do young people know that they are ready for marriage, and what barriers might impede informed consent? Join Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn in a discussion about this controversial topic.

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Forthright and frank, yet respectful and sensitive, I Am for My Beloved: A Guide to Enhanced Intimacy for Married Couples by Talli Rosenbaum and David Ribner will help couples enrich their marital and sexual lives, and maintain passion and intimacy within the framework of Jewish tradition.

To order your copy of  I Am for My Beloved click here:

Fantasy, Premarital Sex, Kink and More: An Intimate Judaism Q and A Epidsode 30

In Episode #30 of Intimate Judaism, Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn answer practical sex questions from listeners. Among the subjects covered are:

Can a couple experience sexual pleasure when intercourse is medically inadvisable?
Why must couples get the first time “over with” on the wedding night? (Or must they?)
Is it permissible to masturbate when your wife is a Niddah?
May women fantasize?
Does enjoying anal play mean I’m gay? … and much more.

Listen and share this special episode, and make sure to subscribe today.

 

Become an Intimate Judaism Patreon subscriber to get additional episodes, merch and more. Just go to https://www.patreon.com/intimatejudaism!

 

Forthright and frank, yet respectful and sensitive, I Am for My Beloved: A Guide to Enhanced Intimacy for Married Couples by Talli Rosenbaum and David Ribner will help couples enrich their marital and sexual lives, and maintain passion and intimacy within the framework of Jewish tradition.

To order your copy of  I Am for My Beloved click here:

 

 

Intimacy After Sexual Abuse Episode 29

Sexual intimacy provides the opportunity to express love with connection, pleasure, and satisfaction. Yet, for people who have experienced sexual assault, sexual violence, and abuse, intimacy can feel very unsafe. Being on guard, and sometimes checking out and dissociating, is what has allowed abuse victims to survive, and the idea of “relinquishing control and getting lost in the moment” can be terrifying. Rather than associate physical intimacy with pleasure and connection, sex can trigger feelings of shame, disgust, aversion, and pain.

Healing from sexual abuse in order to experience emotional and physical intimacy in a healthy way can be a long and difficult process. Join Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn as they speak candidly about this difficult reality.

Become an Intimate Judaism Patreon subscriber to get additional episodes, merch and more. Just go to https://www.patreon.com/intimatejudaism!

Forthright and frank, yet respectful and sensitive, I Am for My Beloved: A Guide to Enhanced Intimacy for Married Couples by Talli Rosenbaum and David Ribner will help couples enrich their marital and sexual lives, and maintain passion and intimacy within the framework of Jewish tradition.

To order your copy of  I Am for My Beloved click here:

Organizations in Israel:

Tahel Crisis Center
https://crisiscenter.org.il

Magen
support@magen-israel.org

Amudim
https://www.amudim.org.il

Organizations in the UK:

Migdal Emuna
www.migdalemunah.org

Organizations in Australia:

http://www.tzedek.org.au/

Organizations in the United States:

Jewish Community Watch

https://www.jewishcommunitywatch.org/get-help/jcw-resources/

 

Relevant Books (Please click to order):

1. Healing Sex: A Mind-Body Approach to Healing Sexual Trauma by Staci Haines

2. Stolen Tomorrows by Steven and Abby Levenkron

3. The Courage to Heal… by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis

4. The Courage to Heal Workbook by Laura Davis

5. The Sexual Healing Journey by Wendy Maltz

6. Treating the Adult Survivor of Childhood Sexual Abuse by Jody Davies & Mary Frawley

7. The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk

Tzniut: Modesty, Female Masturbation and the Media Episode 28

Orthodox girls and women are traditionally taught to dress modestly in order to avoid attracting the male gaze and to keep men from sinful thoughts or behaviors. These messages, according to Rabbanit Oriya Mevorach, an educator and doctoral student of Gender and Philosophy, objectify and sexualize women and girls, and are actually influenced by Western society’s sexuality discourse. Moreover, the effect of these messages present men as sexual beings while female sexuality is ignored.

Rabbanit Mevorach, who studies sexuality and culture, presents an alternate approach to teaching modesty to young women in their teenage and young adult years. She also discusses what Jewish law has to say about female masturbation.

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For a very small monthly payment – and you decide how much or how little to contribute – you can get the extras while supporting Intimate Judaism’s work in bringing frank discussions of Judaism and intimacy to a wide audience.

Go to https://www.patreon.com/intimatejudaism and sign up today!

 

Forthright and frank, yet respectful and sensitive, I Am for My Beloved: A Guide to Enhanced Intimacy for Married Couples by Talli Rosenbaum and David Ribner will help couples enrich their marital and sexual lives, and maintain passion and intimacy within the framework of Jewish tradition.

To order your copy of  I Am for My Beloved click here:

 

“It is Not Good for a Man to Be Alone” Guiding Religious LGBTQ Jews Episode 27

Harav Binyamin Lau, community leader, author, teacher, and former Rabbi of the Ramban Synagogue in Jerusalem, recently introduced a document providing guidance for members of the religious LGBTQ community and their families. This document is a collection of recommendations that, according to Rav Benny, “Do not permit prohibitions or prohibit things that are permitted,” but seek to pave the way to integrate one’s identity with religious life.

In this bonus episode of Intimate Judaism, Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum speak candidly with Rav Benny about reconciling religious and homosexual or transgender identities, and how to promote greater acceptance and inclusion of LGBTQ individuals and couples in Orthodox communities.

To read Rav Benny’s original Hebrew article, go to https://www.facebook.com/Dr.Benny.Lau/posts/3338571199554276

Become an Intimate Judaism Patreon subscriber to get additional episodes, merch and more. Just go to https://www.patreon.com/intimatejudaism!

 

Forthright and frank, yet respectful and sensitive, I Am for My Beloved: A Guide to Enhanced Intimacy for Married Couples by Talli Rosenbaum and David Ribner will help couples enrich their marital and sexual lives, and maintain passion and intimacy within the framework of Jewish tradition.

To order your copy of  I Am for My Beloved click here:

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