Podcast

‘The Surrendered Wife’ and Marital Intimacy: Hierarchal Power Dynamics Versus Equal and Mutual Partnership Episode 42

Last month, Orthodox Jewish journalist Avital Chizhik-Goldschmidt published an article in The Atlantic highlighting the popularity of Laura Doyle’s 2001 New York Times bestseller, ‘The Surrendered Wife,’ among Orthodox Jewish women. Doyle’s book provides a practical guide to marital bliss and harmony, suggesting that women stop being critical and demanding of their husbands, respect and trust them, and regularly engage in self-care and “be vulnerable.”

Many would consider this to be sound advice, and Doyle’s devotees on social media have reported that their marriages underwent a complete transformation after reading the book and applying its principles. In some Orthodox circles, the book’s principles are considered to be in line with Jewish values. Yet, the book, which advises women to relinquish control of all finances to their husbands, refrain from negative comments, and “pretend to believe in him even when you don’t” has triggered very negative reactions, and concern that these potentially disempowering messages can leave women vulnerable to abuse. Join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum in a discussion of this book in the context of healthy marital dynamics.

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Mindfulness, Pleasure and Orgasm: The Jewish Pleasure Principle Episode 41

Judaism values sexuality in the framework of marriage, both for the purposes of procreation and for relational intimacy. But does Judaism sanction the enhancement of physical pleasure, or should it be minimized? Do the Sages relate to pleasure differently in men and women, and how aware were they regarding the female experience of desire, arousal and orgasm? Join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum as we discuss the “Jewish Pleasure Principle.”

Become an Intimate Judaism Patreon subscriber to get additional episodes, merch, and more! Just go to https://www.patreon.com/intimatejudaism.

“Male and Female He Created Them”: Trans, Non-Binary, and Orthodox Judaism Episode 40

According to Jewish sources, God created humans as distinctly male or distinctly female. The roles, obligations and privileges of each gender are clearly defined in our tradition. Yet, not everyone conforms to the gender assigned to them at birth and some individuals experience their gender as distinctly opposite. Can Orthodox individuals who identify as non-binary or transgender find welcoming places, literally and figuratively, in Orthodox society? In this month’s episode, Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn speak with Rebitzen and social worker Daniela Weiss-Bronstein, about this important topic.

Become an Intimate Judaism Patreon subscriber to get additional episodes, merch, and more, including a Q and A dropping this week. Just go to https://www.patreon.com/intimatejudaism.

Straight FOMO, Hymenal Myths, Vasectomy Envy, Fetishes, BDSM and Mad at God: Listening to our Listeners Q&A Episode 39

In this month’s episode, we turn the mike over to you, our listeners, and answer a handful of the many questions you have sent in on email, Facebook and Instagram messenger. Listen to Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn discuss what happens to queer women who don’t want to miss out on traditional marriage and sexual reproduction, when you are angry at God, when babies destroy your sex life and much more. Join here for the full podcast episode.

Become an Intimate Judaism Patreon subscriber to get additional episodes, merch, and more, including a Q and A dropping this week. Just go to https://www.patreon.com/intimatejudaism.

Obsessed with your hymen? Ten myths about the hymen that may calm you down

Reproductive Health and Halacha Part 2: Birth Control Methods Episode 38

Reproductive health ensures that couples can lead satisfying sex lives, and make informed decisions regarding family planning. Decisions related to birth control methods are generally guided by various factors, including health, convenience, cost, preference, and sexual or other side effects. For most observant Jewish couples, these decisions are also informed by Jewish law.
In the second episode of our two-part series on reproductive health and halacha, Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum speak with gynecologist Dr. Elissa Hellman, also known as “The Confident Kallah” about the various methods available to couples, their impact on sex, their impact on the laws of niddah, and their halachic permissibility.

https://tallirosenbaum.com/2021/12/22/your-sex-life-on-birth-control-guest-post-by-michal-schonbrun/

Reproductive Health, Birth Control, and Jewish Law Episode 37

Reproductive health is relevant to all couples in their childbearing years. Family planning, fertility interventions, and the use of contraception are guided by values and Halachic considerations, and involve several other factors including financial concerns, personal and professional goals, desired family size, and relationship stability. Join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum in the first of a two-part series on reproductive health and Halacha.

Become an Intimate Judaism Patreon subscriber to get additional episodes, merch, and more, including a Q and A dropping this week. Just go to https://www.patreon.com/intimatejudaism.

Out of the Closet Without Shame: Balancing Conflicting Identities of LGBTQ and Orthodoxy Episode 36

In past decades, being Orthodox and gay meant suffering in the closet, or choosing to live authentically at the expense of religion. Today, more LGBTQ individuals and couples wish to retain their religious identities while embracing their sexual orientation. Join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum in a moving interview with Rachel Weinstein, Shimmy Feintuch and Joshua Brook.

Become an Intimate Judaism Patreon subscriber to get additional episodes, merch, and more, including a Q and A dropping this week. Just go to https://www.patreon.com/intimatejudaism.

Cultural Competence: LGBTQ and Conflicting Religious Values (Webinar with Shimmy Feintuch)
https://webinars.tallirosenbaum.com/workshops/CulturalCompetence2021/login

OTHER RESOURCES:

https://www.rachelweinsteinmsw.com/

https://www.shimmyfeintuch.com/

https://chiefrabbi.org/lgbtwelfare/

https://www.lookstein.org/resource/homosexuality_amsel.pdf

https://igy.org.il/join/%D7%A7%D7%91%D7%95%D7%A6%D7%95%D7%AA-%D7%93%D7%AA%D7%99%D7%95%D7%AA/

http://www.bat-kol.org/

https://havruta.org.il/en/%D7%93%D7%A3-%D7%94%D7%91%D7%99%D7%AA-english/

https://www.stop-hamara.co.il/

https://www.shovalgroup.org/

https://www.tehila.org.il/

https://m.facebook.com/Tehila.org.il/

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1276241962842549&id=100013702725951

http://www.eshelonline.org/about-new/our-mission/

https://www.jqyouth.org/

https://m.ynet.co.il/articles/5262152

Sex Positivity, Sexual Health, and Sexual Rights: Are These Jewish Values? Episode 35

The World Health Organization defines sexual health as fundamental to the overall health and well-being of individuals, couples and families, and considers sexual pleasure to be a basic human right. In Judaism, sexual pleasure is valued, but only in the context of marital sex, leaving many people in conflict between their sexual health and spiritual health. Join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum as they discuss the six principles of sexual health, and how they conflict with or align with Jewish values.

Declaration on Sexual Pleasure by The Mexico City World Congress of Sexual Health :
https://worldsexualhealth.net/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/2019_WAS_Declaration_on_Sexual_Pleasure.pdf

To register for the webinar referenced in the podcast, go to https://webinars.tallirosenbaum.com/workshops/Apsychotherapeutic/login.

Become an Intimate Judaism Patreon subscriber to get additional episodes, merch, and more, including an upcoming Q and A. Just go to https://www.patreon.com/intimatejudaism.

Men Are Pigs and Women Are Distractions: What Messages About Sex Are Taught in Yeshiva, Seminary, and College? Episode 34

During the month of Elul, hundreds of high school graduates flock to Israel for their gap year programs, yeshivot, and seminaries. This year offers experiences of high level learning, spiritual growth, increased maturity, new friendships, and fun. But many students experience confusion, particularly around their developing sexuality. The legendary “Night of Tears” refers to the night that some yeshiva boys and seminary girls are encouraged to end their boyfriend/girlfriend relationships for the greater good of full time Torah study. On the other hand, the phenomenon of clubbing, drinking, and hooking up is real. Are our educational institutions teaching agency and self-control, or fear and self-loathing? What are the consequences of negative messaging about sex? How can we educate religious kids to navigate intimate relationships with respect for boundaries, and with consent and safety, while simultaneously emphasizing halacha and Jewish values? Finally, in light of a recent incident of rape reported at YU, how do we keep our institutions safe? Join Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn for this difficult but necessary discussion.

Become an Intimate Judaism Patreon subscriber to get additional episodes, merch, and more, including an upcoming Q and A. Just go to https://www.patreon.com/intimatejudaism. Read More

Whose Business is My Unorthodox Life, Anyway? (BONUS EPISODE)

The Netflix reality show, My Unorthodox Life, has been the talk of much of the Orthodox world since it was released less than two weeks ago. It tells the story of Julia Haart, who first developed a shoe line, and quickly rose in the world of fashion. She now is the the CEO and co-owner of Elite World Group, the world’s largest modeling network.

As most of you probably know, the reason that her story is different from others is that Julia was an Orthodox Jew named Talia Hendler living in Monsey. She had once been a passionate teacher of Torah in an Orthodox high school in Atlanta. About eight years ago, she left her husband and Orthodoxy itself, just days after her daughter’s wedding. Her astounding rise took place entirely in the past eight years.

Orthodox Jews have had varied reactions to the series, from complete rejection of Julia’s honesty and experience, to countering her story of oppression with stories of loving being Orthodox under the hashtag #Myorthodoxlife, to accepting and celebrating Julia’s journey.

In this bonus Intimate Judaism episode (co-produced with the Orthodox Conundrum), Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum are joined by Anne Gordon and Shoshanna Keast-Jaskoll for a panel discussion about My Unorthodox Life. Hear their reactions to the series – including what they feel about Julia’s relationships with her family, whether men have a right to discuss Julia’s story, the implications of her story for Orthodoxy, and more.

Become an Intimate Judaism Patreon subscriber to get additional episodes, merch, and more, including an exclusive Q and A. Just go to https://www.patreon.com/intimatejudaism.

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