As Jews in Israel and worldwide absorb the realities of the horrors of threat, murder and violation, it seems surreal to think or talk about intimacy. Often, one partner seeks closeness and attachment, while the other may need distance. We are in our survival brains and that makes us more reactive. Join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum for a discussion on intimacy, sex and peace in the home during war. Spoiler- it’s all normal.

A podcast hosted by an Orthodox comedian recently featured a controversial interview with a child sex offender. In response, Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum created a panel to discuss whether there are potential benefits to learning more about people who struggle with attraction to minors and do not offend, as well as those who do. (This episode contains explicit material regarding sexual abuse that some readers may find disturbing.)

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The 15th of Av , also known as Tu B’Av, is a minor Jewish festival which in modern day Israel is celebrated as a holiday of romantic love, not unlike Valentine’s Day. In this mini bonus episode, Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum discuss the Mishnaic origins of this day, and compare ancient and modern day beliefs about love.

To purchase I Am For My Beloved: A Guide To Enhanced Intimacy For Married Couples by Talli Rosenbaum and David Ribner, go to http://www.urimpublications.com/i-am-for-my-beloved-a-guide-to-enhanced-intimacy-for-married-couples.html. For the Hebrew version, go to http://www.urimpublications.com/ani-ledodi-hebrew-edition.html.

Books will be discounted to $12.50 each with the promo code BELOVEDPROMO through August 7, 2023, so order your copy today!

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Masechet Taanit 26b (Mishnah 4:8):

אמר רבן שמעון בן גמליאל, לא היו ימים טובים לישראל כחמישה עשר באב וכיום הכיפורים, שבהן בנות ירושלים יוצאות בכלי לבן שאולין, שלא לבייש את מי שאין לו.
כל הכלים טעונין טבילה.
ובנות ירושלים יוצאות וחולות בכרמים.
ומה היו אומרות? בחור, שא נא עיניך וראה, מה אתה בורר לך.
אל תתן עיניך בנוי, תן עיניך במשפחה.
שקר החן והבל היופי, אשה יראת יי היא תתהלל

Masechet Baba Batra 121a-b:

בשלמא יום הכפורים יום סליחה ומחילה יום שנתנו בו לוחות אחרונות אלא חמשה עשר באב מאי היא אמר רב יהודה אמר שמואל יום שהותרו שבטים לבא זה בזה מאי דרוש זה הדבר דבר זה לא יהא נוהג אלא בדור זה רבה בר בר חנה אמר רבי יוחנן יום שהותר שבט בנימן לבא בקהל דכתיב ואיש ישראל נשבע במצפה לאמר איש ממנו לא יתן בתו לבנימן לאשה מאי דרוש ממנו ולא מבנינו רב דימי בר יוסף אמר רב נחמן יום שכלו בו מתי מדבר דאמר מר עד שלא כלו מתי מדבר לא היה דיבור עם משה שנאמר ויהי כאשר תמו כל אנשי המלחמה למות מקרב העם וסמיך ליה וידבר ה’ אלי לאמר אלי היה הדיבור עולא אמר יום שביטל בו הושע בן אלה פרדסאות שהושיב ירבעם על הדרכים שלא יעלו ישראל לרגל רב מתנה אמר יום שנתנו הרוגי ביתר לקבורה דאמר רב מתנה אותו היום שנתנו הרוגי ביתר לקבורה אתקנו ביבנה הטוב והמטיב הטוב שלא הסריחו והמטיב שנתנו לקבורה רבה ורב יוסף דאמרי תרוייהו יום שפוסקין בו מלכרות עצים למערכה תניא רבי אליעזר הגדול אומר כיון שהגיע חמשה עשר באב תשש כחה של חמה ולא היו כורתין עצים למערכה.

Not since Yenta from Fiddler on the Roof has there been a matchmaker as famous as Aleeza Ben Shalom! Join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum for a rollicking discussion with the colorful, engaging and entertaining host of “Jewish Matchmaking.”

What happens to the sex life of couples during middle age? Does the familiarity of long-term marriage breed sexual boredom ? Does aging reduce sexual interest? What happens when intimacy is no longer mediated by nidah laws? Listen to Rabbi Scott interview Talli as she presents surprising research findings and insights that will dispel myths about sex in midlife and beyond.

In our annual Q&A episode, Talli and Scott answer many questions and discuss numerous issues dealing with Judaism and intimacy, including whether avoiding sex before marriage means a likelihood of being sexually incompatible with your spouse, how to proceed when you start off shomer negiah and then… you’re not, finding porn on your husband’s intenet history, coping with changes in libido, defining Jewish sex, the halachic attitude towards using a condom, and more. We appreciate your many questions, and encourage you to continue being in contact with us.

The shidduch crisis refers to the phenomenon in the Orthodox Jewish community whereby eligible single persons, especially women, have difficulty finding a suitable spouse. While there are definite differences between the way dating for marriage is approached and conducted in the Hasidic, Yeshivish and Modern Orthodox worlds, there are also some similarities. Recently, a research study was conducted to better understand and promote awareness regarding the struggles that many Orthodox Jewish daters face across the religious spectrum. Join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum, together with study authors Dr. Michael Salamon and Dr. Naomi Rosenbach, as they discuss the research findings and recommendations for communal change in addressing these issues.

Whether divorced, widowed or never married, seeking a new relationship is complex. While each individual has his or her own unique experiences and perspectives, being unpartnered in midlife usually represents mourning for having loved and lost, or not yet having experienced the joy of partnered intimacy. Added to this for Orthodox Jews, are conflicts around non-marital physical touch. Join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum in a discussion meant to encourage compassion to self and other, inclusion and hope.

Numerous sources in our tradition demonstrate that sex in marriage must be mutual and consensual, and at no time can sex be forced or coerced. However, If a woman has been taught that she must do what her husband wants and she is responsible for protecting him from sin, she will fear the consequences of saying no. In this episode, Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn discuss how non-consensual sexual dynamics can be built in to the system even as normative Jewish law forbids coercive sex. We invite you to listen to this thought provoking and important discussion about the importance of integrating sexual autonomy and ethical sexual behavior in Jewish marriage.

Pregnancy and childbirth are profound events in the life of a couple. The physical, psychological and hormonal changes that occur to women during pregnancy and in the postpartum period can impact both partners and affect emotional and sexual intimacy. Couples must learn to adjust to a changed family system and a new identity as parents. Observant Jewish couples are additionally affected by laws that restrict touch during childbirth and in the postpartum period. In this episode, Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum discuss how pregnancy and childbirth as well as restrictions on physical touch, can affect relational intimacy and sexuality.

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